I have BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!

. . . . There is a guy mowing the lawn at Red Bull Arena as we speak!

Oh the fun a slow work day and the Red Bull Arena Webcam can provide. Who else can supply you only the finest in soccer, energy drinks and landscaping?! TheOffside, that’s who . . .

Let’s take in the latest photos from RBA – including pictures of the soon to be completed Red Bull Logo, some seating, and the aforementioned gardener.

See ya this afternoon. And enjoy the pics.

Now you know the hell that is artificial turf.

It started with Javier Morales having to painfully leave the game when he planted his foot, and crashed knee on knee with Golden Balls. The unforgiving turf compounded the situation, with Morales knee having no where to move but the direction Beckham kicked it in. With no give beneath him, it was the tendons in his leg that had to give way.

Then Beckham himself was injured and couldn’t serve that classic bending cross with his turf consternation. As the night drew to a close, what began as a slight ankle contusion turned into a limping, dragging appendage.

Donovan Ricketts? His hand blew up like an RPG when he took a dive on a shot and landed on his palm. I am sure I can find a way to blame the turf for Donovans penalty miss too! (or maybe not)

And the list went on and on and on. Throughout the night, players were clutching their ankles, knees, leg muscles and all as the turf gave them a pounding the likes of which would make Stone Cold Steve Austin giddy.

Now compound that one night of misery and physical pain by 14 years and you have yourself the New York Metro Bulls.

But anyway . . . Congrats to Real Salt Lake for a tremendous job, and to the Galaxy for a valiant effort.

Former All Star, MLS Cup Winner, Boca Jrs. Legend and league MVP Guillermo Barros Schelotto has just been asked to take a sizable pay cut by the Columbus Crew, to the tune of $400k. He is 36 years old, and will be 37 in May, so a pay cut is naturally the way a team would look at such a player at this time in his career. But $400k? After all he has done?

Let me rattle off some facts for you:

- He has accumulated 19 goals and 22 assists in 51 regular season games.
- He has 2 goals and 6 assists in 5 postseason games.
- He was benched by the Crew in preference to a defensive style on the road leg of their series with RSL, but upon his insertion, he found the net. Twice.
- He single handedly turned the Crew around from perennial wanna-be to constant contender.
- He has won a grand total of 21 trophies in various competitions internationally and here in the US.

The guy does two things very well; get a team scoring, and get a team winning trophies, both critical to the future of Red Bull.

So what would you do if given the opportunity to sign him? Would he be worth a trade? And what would you place as his price tag? Have your say in today’s poll and comment below:

Guillermo Barros Schelotto:(answers)

If you are keeping score at home, that is now 9 players that started 2009 with the Bulls, who now find themselves elsewhere. Here is a rundown of the entire 2009 Exodus – and boy, what a difference it is from the start of the year:

- Albert Celades (retirement)
- Jon Conway
- Alec Dufty
- Oscar Echeverry
* Walter Garcia (on trial at Leeds, future unknown)
* Juan Carlos Osorio (coach for Once Caldas)
- Leo Krupnik
- Dominic Oduro
- Alfredo Pacheco
- Juan Pietravallo
- Khano Smith

That is almost enough players to field a team. Not good.

“The offer is a very good offer,” he said. “The club is a very good club. I am considering the offer. However, I would like to stay in the United States. But I’m not sitting around. I want to work. I have to work.”

Interesting denial, especially considering that the Once Caldas front page has been promoting Osorio for the past two days (screenshots after the jump):

Once when he “officially” signed on . . . .

. . . . claiming he will commence work the second week of December. Or today’s feature . . .

. . . . with this front page splash, detailing Osorio’s initial “transfer wish list” for the club moving forward and highlighting the clubs directors mulling the fax. The bottom of the page actually has an inset featuring an interview with his new assistant coach, Pompilio Páez.

Who is to be believed, ladies and gentlemen?

My guess? Osorio signed on prematurely. With his apparent popularity in Colombia going through the roof, combined with a team that is struggling it’s way through the league table, it seems the directors may have jumped the gun on the announcement before Osorio’s contract expired in December to give the fans a little something to look forward to. This puts the former Bulls coach in the unenviable position of towing the line he has already crossed; signing with a team while still “signed” with another.

What do you think is going on here?!

Juan Carlos Osorio is a head coach once more. He takes on a squad that is currently 8th in their table, with 7 wins, 7 draws and 4 ties, accumulating 23 goals for and 14 against in that time frame. Osorio, infamous for his defensive positioning and tactics, inherits a squad which already boasts the lowest goals against in the league, and is in the top half of the scoring tables as well.

I am sure every Red Bull fan will be following this storyline during the offseason – just in case those numbers take a turn for the worse.

Their quest for this goal has lead them to Red Bull trainee and Jeff Agoos pet project, Walter Garcia. Garcia is currently trialing with Leeds in hopes of securing a contract with the club. He notched only one appearance as a Red Bull, and will most notably be remembered as the final lynch pin pulled on the grenade that was the Agoos/Osorio partnership. As a matter of fact, he played so little time with the Red Bulls, that it is a challenge to find a picture of him with the teams kit!

Osorio felt that the investment and training put into an out of shape, former Argentine prospect would be a waste for a club that was itself trying to reformulate. If Garcia is taken by the England side, it will be Osorio who will have the last laugh in that argument.

Besides, as an Argie, it would stink to lose yet another countryman. Boo lack of Argies!

If they are the winning combination, Red Bull had better start moving fast; as predicted, DC has already sent out feelers to the Williams camp, enticing the once beloved United figure to come home once more and lead the team to the promised land. Quite the proposal.

Meanwhile, Red Bull are entertaining the other half of that duo. Curt Onalfo “enjoyed” a rather mediocre stay at the Wizards, keeping a fairly even record of 27-29-22, with two consecutive playoff appearances in consecutive years, before this seasons collapse. Onalfo was originally hired as the KC coach by Peter Vermes for his “attacking style” and “exciting” play, a stark contrast to past KC coaches of recent memory. Those same attributes are what make him an appealing fit for the Bulls, who languished in 0-0 ties and 1-0 losses throughout the Osorio era.

On one end, it is a welcome sight to witness Red Bull aggressively pursuing American options who understand the MLS game and rules. But is Onalfo ready to take the step as Sporting Director? Who knows. One thing is for certain; the communication, which was none existant and dextrimental in the Osorio/Agoos era, would surely die with the friendly, on the same page Onalfo/Williams pairing.

What are your thoughts? Is Onalfo the answer? Are you still clammoring for Peter Wilt perhaps? Share your thoughts below.

What is the Reverse Curse? It is a temporary suspension of all footballing ability while wearing a Metro Bull kit that is magically cured once a player switches kits to another club. There are so many examples of this, but sticking to recent memory (and not in any order of importance at all); Hunter Freeman leaves Red Bull and has become a regular starter in Norway, Gabriel Cichero leaves Red Bull and becomes a valuable piece of their National teams youth movement, Mike Magee has proven to be a key offensive cog in the Galaxy’s overall make up leading the team in assists, Diego Jimenez continues to excel in Mexico, and notched two goals upon arriving back to his country after his RB departure. Chris Leitch even notched 7 assists for a weak San Jose squad this year! And the list unsufferabley goes on and on and on.

Well, now the Fat Cat can proudly call himself one of the many that used New York as a spring board for better things. Zach Thornton, who just last year sat behind Conway, Cepero and a half a bag of popcorn on the goalkeeper depth charts, has been awarded the 2009 Goalkeeper and Comeback Player of the Year award. Imagine that! The Beast not only won the awards, but did so while demolishing his best season tallies to do so. With a tiny .87 goals against, it is a wonder why Thornton was never seriously considered for the starting position here at all.

But that is the nature of the Reverse Curse, isn’t it? Let’s hope for Red Bulls sake that the new Arena washes away the demons of East Rutherford for good . . .