All The Bull: Offseason Snooze Fest

By: Dave Martinez | December 17th, 2008

The news is so dry, so boring, so deplete of real meat that I am forced to update you all on news that simply 2 days ago, I considered unimportant.

For instance . . . .

GABE CICHERO FINDS A NEW JOB

I found this nugget out before it made the US Blogosphere – and I skipped out on reporting it, since I figured no one would care. But for those that do (including our VinoTinto fan Gabriel), Cichero is back in Venezuela, getting a crack at a starting spot for Caracas.

The End.

Or how about this gem:

RED BULLS MERCH ON SALE!

The Red Bulls are offering deep discounts with some promo code on an online catalog. It is supposed to be for season ticket holders only I believe, but if I find this thing out, I will pass the info down to all of you holiday shoppers.

X-mas shopping not your thing? Well, RB land in all its offseason glory brings you –

MORE ANGEL TO RIVER PLATE RUMORS

River is seriously grasping at straws. Reports out of Argentina state that River is looking into not 1, but 2 DP players in MLS. Namely? Gallardo and Juan Pablo Angel. Um. Unlikely. Besides, I think I have given las gallinas enough pub on these pages.

And if baseless rumors are not your thing, and your looking for concrete facts and figures, don’t worry, because . . . .

WE HAVE NOTHING NEW TO REPORT ON DAVE VAN DEN BERGH.

Really. We don’t.

Oh but the excitement doesn’t cease at TORB! For instance . . .

I AM CREATING RED BULL PLAYERS

This is the height of geekdom. I am a 28 year old man who still loves sporting video games. Don’t ask. My latest purchase is the WWE’s offering RAW v. SMACKDOWN 2009. In it is a great function where you can make your own wrestler, and the detail is absolutely phenomenal. I have actually figured a way of making an almost true to life RB jersey on the game, and am a few steps away from creating my first Red Bull Wrestler: Juan Pablo Angel. I will show you guys my work if (and when) I complete this thing.

So, as you can see, if ever there was a time to take a snooze as a Red Bulls fan, it will be within now and the new year.

Until then, I will be here lovingly mocking the news, pontificating on my views or subjecting you all to more myspace style photographs.

Cheers.