TheOffside WARS: Laurie and Seattle v. Dave and RBNY

By: Dave Martinez | March 12th, 2009

Did you forget about our season opener against the Seattle Sounders?

Well, someone hasn’t.

You see this picture to my left?

That is what Laurie, infamous blogger from the Seattle Sounders Offside, has accomplished; striking an unsuspecting blow against me. How did she do this?

Well, as I was happily going about my business on the good old TORB (for the nubez: The Offside: Red Bulls), when I received this menacing, ominous and frankly, uncalled for challenge:

Hey, Red Bulls Man! How about a little wager on next Thursday’s game. If we win, you post a photo 600 px wide of Freddie Ljungberg in his undies. And if you win… [insert appropriate on-blog punishment here.}

Freddies bag on my blog?!?! NEVER!

What’s worse? She has asked for help from her readers.

Now then; if the Red Bulls win, I have a SWEEEEEET picture that will surely infuriate Sounders fans. But, I also know you guys are some of the most creative bastids this side of Jim Henson, sooooooooooooooo . . . . .

HERE IS THE DEAL

No pressure, but if you have a (friendly) humiliating picture idea to put up on Seattles Offside page WHEN the Red Bulls romp all over them opening day, send your photoshopped entries to DAVEREDBULLS@HOTMAIL.COM!

That’s right – your taunt of Sounders fans will be prominently displayed on HER page, for the entire day, and you will get full credit.

Think about how great it will feel to tell your fellow RBNY comrades that you further sunk Sounder fans into depression after a devastating loss!

Think of the humiliation they will feel from day one!

Think about all the hurt you have personally suffered as an RBNY supporter!

Feel that hate. Channel that hate. And make Seattle feel it.

Got it? Good. Because I am counting on you.

Laurie. It’s on. It’s on like Donkey Kong.

Some Related Red Bulls Posts:

Category: +++ MY INFO +++, CURRENT ROSTER, Misc, News, Red Bulls, daveredbulls(a)hotmail.com

« All The Bull: Beckham (again), Suspensions and The Future | Home | A Modicum of Revenge: RBNY 2 – Crystal Palace 0 »

Dave Martinez

Damn NLR!!!!!! BRUTAL!!!!!!!! But hysterical none the less.
nolayups

there is a flaw with this proposed challenge.

Its easy to humiliate us on this blog. We have pride and self respect. To have a loss rubbed in our faces would be brutal. Hard to handle for a city and fan base with so much to be proud of.

However the Seattle shoegazers or whatever they are called have no such handicap. They already live in a city that inspires suicidal thoughts and requires grotesque amounts of caffeine just to drag their sorry selves from internet cafe to Kurt Cobain memorial.

Its amazing that with all their whiny sobbing and floppy hair in front of their faces they are able to find their way to the local 2nd hand store to get more flannel.

So how do you humiliate someone with so little to live for that they are already living in a mud puddle? Its not possible.

But if this challenge gives them reason to push themselves on to the next day instead of slitting their wrists or worse, moving to Canada, then consider it an act of charity and go for it.

http://www.eljefe.net/XmasOnPi...
Dave Martinez

George - I was thinking about that. No idea. We will have to make something for that.
Almedin

This would be a great and embarassing slap in the face if the Sounders lose.. A player FROM the Red Bulls who didn't even WANT to play for the Seattle Sounders.. no offense to Sounders fans, but this would definitely be a good one..

http://redbull.newyork.mlsnet....
George

So what happens in the event of a tie?
JonathanG

And if it's a tie?
BMatthews

Can someone please make an "Oklahoma City Sounders" photoshop, peas and thank you.
Laurie

See this? This is me. Shaking.